Friday, October 21, 2011

Parenting Notes - Festival of Marriage - Ridgecrest

Here are the notes from our breakout that we promised to put online for you.

Parenting Teenagers
Facilitated by Sondra & Paul Turner

Biblical foundation of parenting
4 “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. – Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Our primary role as parents is to teach our kids to love the Lord your God with all their heart, soul and strength. These have to be in our heart in order to pass on to our kids.
                What does it profit if we teach our kids to love the world and lose their own soul?

Even the best parents don’t always get everything right –
   41 Every year His parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. 42 When He was 12 years old, they went up according to the custom of the festival. 43 After those days were over, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but His parents did not know it. 44 Assuming He was in the traveling party, they went a day’s journey. Then they began looking for Him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for Him. 46 After three days, they found Him in the temple complex sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all those who heard Him were astounded at His understanding and His answers. 48 When His parents saw Him, they were astonished, and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for You.”       49 “Why were you searching for Me?” He asked them. “Didn’t you know that I must be involved in My Father’s interests?” 50 But they did not understand what He said to them. - Luke 2:41-50

When the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, they came together in the same place. 35 And one of them, an expert in the law, asked a question to test Him: 36 “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” 37 He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the greatest and most important commandment. 39 The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.” – Matthew 22:35-40

Practical Steps to Getting Most of It Right
1.      Start where you are – evaluate where you are in the greatest commandment
2.      Commit to finding three – five people who will pray for you and for your kids. (parents, grandparents, people in your church, people whom you trust, etc.)
3.      Commit to having one spiritual conversation with your kids at least once a week.
4.      Commit to having one – two meals/week as a family
5.      Show love and respect for your spouse/the child’s mother or father
6.      Do not abdicate your role to a paid professional (youth minister, etc.)
7.      Be an advocate for other parents and students
8.      Stay in the Word
9.      Pray with and for your kids
10.  Do not be their friend, be their parent. All major research projects conclude that parents are the #1 influencer of their kids, whether positive or negative.
11.  Remember that you are a steward and not an owner of your kids. They are God’s on loan to you.
12.  Learn the dance of when to be up close and when to back off.
13.  Know that girls find their greatest security in a good relationship with their father, boys need their fathers just as much to show them how to me a man of God. Mothers are just amazing. No man will ever match how incredibly gifted God has made each of you.
14.  Never stop praying for your kids. Never! Some will choose to run, some will choose to stay and not really be there, and some will choose to be who God created them to be. Our role is to create the environment for them to see and learn how to love the Lord their God.

Some Helpful Resources
www.christianitytoday.com/parenting
www.covenanteyes.com
www.cypu.org
www.family.org
www.heartconnex.org
www.teenswithproblems.com
www.theparentlink.com
www.troubledwith.com
www.lifeway.com
www.realworldparents.com


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