Change

Most of us really like change as long as it is happening to someone else. When it comes to land in our own lives and in our own homes, it definitely takes on a whole new connotation. I am all about change, especially when I am consulting a church, leading others, and talking about how to get at it differently. I am little less enthused with change when it hits me square in the chest. And . . . change has hit me square in the chest. Sondra and I have been married for 25 years, have two incredible daughters and a not so incredible dog, but she is a dog and does not really count in this conversation.

Change hit us last Thursday/Friday. Morgan is now a college student and has had the audacity to join her sister at Union (her sister left us two years ago). The house is quiet; we have to take care of the dog (scratch that . . . that is the same. It is their dog but we have always been the ones to care for that four legged beast); picking up the trash takes about half as long; laundry loads are minimal; and when we clean the house, it stays clean.

Some of you have walked this road already and are laughing and saying, "You will get used to it and if they come back home, you will wonder when they are going to leave." We might get there soon, but that is not where we are right now. We miss them. We also know that we are thankful that they both are well adjusted, God loving and serving young ladies. In spite of their dad, they have done well to this point.

We will adjust. Sondra and I have been very intentional in making sure that we knew each other and our whole lives have not revolved around our girls. We have not had to reacquaint ourselves with one another. But . . . we do miss the girls.

They are good girls though. The took a picture of their first day of school like they always did when they were still at home. Their mom is glad and proud of them for remembering her and taking that picture. I am too. Miss them, but so proud and thankful for who they have become and are becoming.

People Watching

It was nice to be at home most of last week and then on Friday morning I headed out to Ft. Myers, FL to be a part of the SW FL SS Conference. I have to admit that I am not a big fan of Delta Airlines, in fact, most of the time I work hard avoiding their carrier. It was not an option this time so I boarded a flight to ATL (all flights on Delta go thru ATL) seated in a row with two of the largest men I have ever flown with. I had the aisle, they had the rest of the three seat row. I had about 2/3 of my seat. Arm rests up w/ the exception of the one on the aisle. It was buried about 6 inches into my ribs. But, I have to say, these two guys were extremely pleasant to be around. Not that large people are not pleasant, but many of them I have sat beside wedge into the seat and then spread out and just assume I want 1/3 of the seat I paid for and they can have the other 2/3s.

Most of the trip consisted of layovers. . . in fact, long layovers. Lots of sitting around. Lots of opportunities to meet people or stick my nose in a book. I actually did both. And then I people watched. I watched families on "last minute, right before school starts" trips, Hot, sweaty, tired, irritable, worn out families somehow who will get home and talk about the wonderful trip they had in spite of the big tiff they got into at the airport. Business people dressed to the nines and trying to be all professional and having to stand in long lines just like everyone else. Old people; young people; frustrated folks. and then a species of traveler who aimlessly walked through the terminal, smiling and seemingly oblivious to the fact that they should be scurrying somewhere because that is what you do in airports. And me, I sat and watched. I grinned at some; nodded at many; pitied some of the younger parents chasing their kids through the crowds; and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I like people. I like to watch them. I like to try and figure out their "story" in a few fleeting seconds as they pass by. I like to people watch.

And I like to catch someone else's eye who is people watching who sees the same scene being played out and just smile. We are watching people. And then it occurs to us that not only are we watching people, people are watching us. Always. What I do matters. People are watching. Am I representing Him in my constant walk? He is watching. Not to catch me doing something wrong, but because He delights in me. Because I am His. He cares. And because of that, I want to bring Him glory.

Tiger, Mel and Me

I do not like writing this blog entry. There. I said it. I do not like writing this particular blog entry because unless you have been in a cave lately, you know that Tiger's life is a mess, Mel, well, he is a mess as well, and Paul, yep, me, that one, is a mess too.


How does it happen that people do stupid things? How is it that we all "fall short of the glory of God"? And, I know what you are probably thinking, "what did Paul do?" No big announcements of gross sin forthcoming. No tales of lurid affairs, running around with shady characters, and no videos of me doing something I should not be doing. But, I do have to tell you, my life and my actions are far from perfect. I get mad a people who drive slowly in the "speed lane". I get impatient when things do not go as I think they should. I think less of people than God does way too often. I feel entitled to many things when I have no "right" or reason to feel that way. My thoughts are at times not like Christ. I fall short. Way short. The only difference is  . . . my life does not play out on a camera like Tiger's and Mel's life do. I can pretty much travel the world and may see a few people who know who I am, but for all practical purposes, I am an unknown.

But . . .there is One who knows me well. He knows my thoughts. He knows my actions. He knows my heart. My life is always on camera in front of Him. No thing I think, say or do is out of eye sight, earshot, or ever out of His realm of knowing my motives regardless of the outward expression. I am always on His camera.

So . . . I need grace. I used to think that as I would grow older I would need less grace from Him. Dumb of me really. I do not think God doses out grace like we think He does. He just gives. And I need it. I need His grace to save me from myself. And, I need to remember that when someone falls, messes up, sins, crashes and burns, that is when we see His grace manifested. Not that grace is not there before, but it comes to light.

I need grace. The more I understand Him and grow in love with Him, the more grace I realize I need. He is the gracious, righteous and Almighty One. I choose less of me and all of Him. May that be my continual choice as long as He graces me with breath.

Vacation is for Families

Last Friday I flew to Jackson, MS via Chicago and spoke three times at the Growing Churches Conference in Brandon, MS at Crossgates Church. Great group of youth leaders and got to reacquaint with Kipp Smith is a wonderful youth minister going at it into his late 40s. Also, Ken Hall at the MS Baptist Convention is a great guy and good to see him as well. The team that put the conference together is one of the best I have worked with. Great job of communicating and everything was very well done.

Saturday night I flew to Orlando and met my family who had driven from home and on Sunday we worshipped at FBC, Orlando; met our friends the Keators and then drove to Sarasota. The Keators are letting us use their condo this week and it is very nice. We have enjoyed the pool and the beach. Great times with the girls. We will try to put some pics up somewhere I am sure.