My Advent Conspiracy Experience . . . so far

Poly Rouse, our pastor, has been leading us through a series of sermons loosely based on David Platt's, Radical Together book. I sort of pride myself in being frugal, not wanting for much, and basically considering myself better than I actually am. While confession is good for the soul and bad for the reputation, I feel compelled to share a experience that God and I wrestled through recently.

I, in no way, am saying that electronics are evil or of the devil. I have greatly enjoyed my iPhone, TV, microwave, and on and on. I do have a tendency to "want" more technological devices and this past summer was able to use an iPad that work provided. It made travel a little easier, helped me stay a little more current with work, and let's face it, I liked the cool factor of it. "Oh, you have an iPad. Those things are so cool." And, I was quick to get caught up in the coolness of it. In August, the iPad gig was up for me. Work needed it back. I lamented it for awhile and I guess honestly, still do.

Black Friday was a critical day in the wrestling match for me. Apple puts their "stuff on sale" for the only time of the year. I had received a nice honorarium check for a series of talks I did  and proudly announced to Sondra, "that iPad2 is mine now." I went online, secured an iPad2 in my basket, but could not press complete sale. For about 4 hours on Black Friday I had it in my basket, but could not press complete sale. Not because my motives were pure, but because I could not get an "easyness" about spending that money on something that was useful, but not necessary for me to live.

Sunday, November 27 began the new sermon series. As I walked into the worship center at church, set up on the stage was a set for the mission that our church supports in Guatemala. (Los Conchas I believe is what it is called or something very similar to that.) I knew immediately where that money was to go. No one had to tell me, it was confirmed in my spirit. As Poly talked about our work with those in Los Conchas, I felt myself getting more and more irritated and frustrated. Evidently the wrestling that started on Black Friday was not over yet. Sondra finished singing in the praise team, came and sat down my me and I looked at her, pointed to the area of the stage with the Guatemala set and said to her, "Stupid Advent Conspiracy!" How submissive I am! The focus of Advent Conspiracy is to give so that others might have. I get it, I just did not want to. All that to say, I wrote the check and placed it in the offering plate yesterday. And, I did it with a fairly pure heart. I am getting there. I know it is the right thing to do. I know that people will eat and many will hear the gospel. I am praying that lives will be transformed, beginning with mine.

God, break my heart for what breaks yours.