Closer to 50 than 40

Let me be the first to say that I rarely live in denial, but it dawned on me this week that even though I have been closer to 50 than 40 for the last 364 days, I really am closer to 50 than 40 for real now. Tomorrow I turn 46. It will be the second birthday to celebrate w/o my mom being around, which although sort of sad, is not what it was last year.

I do admit also that when my parents turned 46, I thought they were old. Heck, I thought they were old when they turned 30 but I was a kid and didn't know any better. Now I wonder what Shelbi and Morgan think of me turning 46? I have a lot of friends who are much older than me and I really do not think of them as being old. I don't think of myself being old. But, . . . I also have to admit that when I go to do some form of physical exercise, I feel older. Not ancient, just older. I do consider myself pretty studly after running 20 last Sat. but I have to admit, recovery takes a little longer than it used to. I am just not near as good at some things as I once was, and . . . I am really learning to be okay with that.

I do think however that I am better at hearing God's voice and pray that I am quicker to obey. I am honored that some younger brothers come to me for advice and to pray for them. Not that I have figured it out but because they trust me. My hair is grayer and my torso sags a little more than it used to (although not too much); my arms are still skinny and weak; my mind is fairly sharp; my love for my wife and family is stronger than it has ever been; and I am more appreciative of God's grace and mercy than ever. I long to be wholly His. I know now more than ever that He can be trusted fully. I want to live that out.

I am a blessed man. I have an amazing wife who loves me, two daughters who are the delights of my life, and a God I serve Who is Who He says He is. I am blessed.